The heart of the righteous weighs its answers… –Proverbs 15:28
Many years ago, a woman was caught in adultery, and according to the law, she was to be stoned to death. She was dragged into the temple courts, where a man was teaching, by a large crowd of people, and they threw her into to middle, ready to make her pay for her sin. They told the man that she was caught in adultery, and that according to the law, they were to stone such a woman. After He heard this, the man just bent down, remained quiet and started to write something on the ground. The crowd continued to question Him, and He simply straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the one to first throw a stone at her.” Then He stooped down again and continued to write. At this, everyone began to drop their stones and walk away. Pretty cool, wasn’t it?
Many of us have probably heard the story of the woman caught in adultery from John 8:1-11. The part of the story that truly amazes me was how Jesus kept His cool the entire time, and with 20 simple, and undoubtedly carefully weighed out words (I’m sure He used less in the language He actually spoke), He saved a woman’s life!
I am constantly amazed by the restraint that Jesus often used when dealing with different people throughout scripture. When He was on trial, there was so much He could have said to defend Himself and perhaps clear His name, but because He knew the condition of His accusers hearts, He weighed His answers and spoke very little, if ever at all. As Prophet Amos wrote, “Therefore, the prudent man keeps quiet in such times…”
What do so many of us fear silence? What is it about silence that makes us so uncomfortable? We are often so quick to answer before we completely hear a question, we are so quick to tell someone that they are wrong, we want to win arguments, we want to win people over to our way of thinking, etc.
In his book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie wrote about a time when he and a friend were invited to a dinner party. The host quoted a statement and said that it was from the Bible, and Dale immediately argued that it was in fact from Shakespeare. They argued for a while and then turned to his friend, the other guest, who had devoted years to the study of Shakespeare, but he sided with the host and said that he believed that it was probably from the Bible. On their way home, Dale told his friend the he knew that the quote was from Shakespeare, and to this, the friend answered, “Of course. Hamlet, Act Five, Scene 2. But we were guests at a festive occasion. Why prove to a man that he is wrong? Is that going to make him like you? Why not let him save his face. He didn’t ask for your opinion. He didn’t want it. Why argue with him? Always avoid the acute angle…You have hurt his pride, you have made him feel inferior”
Dear friends, sometimes, being right and winning an argument is not as important as maintaining a relationship. King Solomon once again reminds us that “A man of knowledge uses words with restrain, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.” Silence can be golden, and it is important that we learn to weigh our answers before we blurt them out. When comforting a grieving person, sometimes just sitting quietly with them is the most comforting response (see Job 2:13 compared to Job 13:5). When someone misquotes something or makes a statement that you do not agree with, silence is oftentimes the best response for the other person’s benefit (1 Corinthians 10:24). And when responding to questions, it would do everyone a lot of good if we just took some time out to weigh our answers as Jesus did. Think about it!
Grace and peace be with you.
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